May 2011
I always hate coming home from Kaleigh’s at night because I have to fall asleep alone. There, I’m never alone. I’m with Mike or Zach or Kaleigh or even Felipe but I’m never alone. And here I fall asleep to an empty room, no music, no sounds of another person sleeping, no warmth, no nothing. It bothers me more than you can even imagine not to have a body next to me. I sleep...
By the way. Just a documentation, as usual. I’ll post regular stuff later. Sleep tonight. Buttt. Documentation:
I gave Bryce my bracelet. I mean, I have his black and white beaded one and his Sylvianna rubber one, but I gave him my black and tan rope one I wove. It’s reallyyy well done, it took me several weeks. So. He’d better not lose it or tear it lol. (by tear I mean undo...
3 tags
Where to begin, where to begin…
Okay let’s start from… Yesterday. No, wait. I think it was Thursday. No it had to have been yesterday. FUCK. These are my thoughts, I’m not erasing at all so enjoy. Hm. It was yesterday. So Mikeskeee had to leave which was upsetting. And so Kaleigh and Nikki and Ryleigh and Mike and I all drove to Wawa and got slurpies, Mike got coffee...
Honey, I'm home!
I missed my tumblr. MUAH. Now for long posts.
April 2011
So I’m chilling in Zach’s room lol. Kaleigh’s asleep on the couch. This is more of an update post for my benefit than anything else. Kaleigh told me yesterday that she took Felipe’s virginity and now they’re a “thing.” At first I was a little pissed, honestly. And now, when I see them together, I’m still pretty pissed. But it’s whatever.
...
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I've been painting almost non-stop since......
I stopped for about an hour and a half. My back hurts sooo bad. And the mural still isn’t done, I have to add two things to it, but I haven’t decided what yet.
I got this phone two weeks ago, and it just...
My cell phone is fucking up sooo badly right now....
I need to show tumblr my new wall tonight. I just...
Is this really as loud as my speakers go?
I’m such an angsty teenager lmao. I’m blasting anti-government music as loud as I can and just being all around obnoxious. They technically can’t punish me (I know them. They won’t for just being obnoxious.). Besides, what’re they gonna do? Disconnect the internet that’s hooked up in my room? Shit I’ll do it for them.
I seriously don’t mean to cuss as much as I do. But when I get angry, if I don’t let it out somehow, I’ll do something I might regret. And as much as they deserve it after sixteen years, I’d rather cuss at my parents than punch them in the face. Mostly just because, even though they beat me for years, if I hit them once they’d send me to jail faster than I could...
“I want to make beats like rain. Heavy beats that pound the air, thundering bass...”
So apparently I’m not going anywhere today. As hard as I worked, as much as I just want to get out of this house, I’m not allowed to leave. Excuse me, I’m going to go take some pills and sleep until tomorrow when I can leave.
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Just to give you a clear picture of my mood right...
It is hot as balls in my house and I am sweating.
I just worked for three fucking hours cleaning my room and making that shit spotless as fuck.
My parents, this morning, instead of asking me how my night was or if I was feeling better, told me “Happy Easter. I took the shower curtain off. You’re not showering until you finish cleaning. Good luck finding it.”
So I cleaned.
My...
OFFICIALLY DONE EDITING ALL OUT CHAOS PHOTOS.
I might post my favorites later. I still need to check my messages but LATER. Now, I have to clean my room (fuck me I’m never gonna finish wtf) and then shower and do my hair and go to Kaleigh’s <3
Photo editing for the rest of forever now okay?
I'm so mind fucked right now. I don't even.. what...
I’m incoherent, let me put this in a read more lol.
I just got back from Matt’s— Jake’s sleeping over. If I wasn’t going over to Kaleigh’s tomorrow for the week I’d sneak back but you know. So today was super chill. But I’m confused. I’m not sure how it happened. But instead of being able to hit on Brian— which was my goal, believe you...
6 tags
I feel bad sometimes for my girl friends— this is why most of my friends are guys. It’s like, not only am I not as understanding with them, and not only do I honestly care less about most of them (don’t get me wrong, some of us are tight and I wouldn’t trade them for the world, but just in general.), but also, I don’t think I’m the kind of chick that girls want...
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“If you gave someone your heart and they died, did they take it with them? Did...”
– Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult (via kari-shma)
Fun Fact:
Ever since I was a little middle school kiddie, Sweetest Girl by Wylcef Jean has been basically my favorite song. That’s my mofriggin jam.
Also, my messages aren’t opening. And my hair is shitty but I’m not gonna fix it. I’m off to see the wizard, loves. c:
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WHY.
WHY DID MY HAIR CHOOSE TODAY TO LOOK LIKE SHIT now technically, I do have the time to go, take another shower, and redo my hair but DAMN. I AM NOT IN THE MOTHERFUCKING MOOD TO REDO MY HAIR COMPLETELY. Bitch what the fuckkk. WHYYYYY DID MY HAIR CHOOSE TODAY TO LOOK LIKE SHIT? WHAT IS THIS FUCKERY? And on top of that my skin is ugh today and I’m still feeling sick and just BITCH. Ugh. This...
Dear world,
feel free to knock some sense into me whenever you see fit. And by knock some sense into me I mean legitimately just knock me the fuck out until I get the picture.
On a different note, (I just tried to spell note with a k…) I’m off to get ready to go see my Madidas. Peace.
I think my director's pissed at me.
Is it because I’ve been off partying/smoking/drinking/hooking up with one of your only straight guy actors? Or just because I haven’t been around much for the past month (Because I’ve been doing those things?) My bad. I’ll try to talk to you more.
Seriously. She seems pissed. Like I messaged her on facebook. And she replied like wtf why’re you talking to me. And...
It is one o'clock in the morning. Three trash bags...
But I’m done for the night. I was feeling better, now I feel sick again. I overexerted myself cleaning. But now I have motivation lol. After I get my room spotless, not only will I be able to go to Kaleigh’s for a week, but also, I’ll reward myself by going to this one place where you can get TVs— working TVs— for $30. Big ones, like livingroom size. And I’ll...
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I guess this is officially the last thing I'll say...
Antonie I know you’re leaving soon, I don’t really remember the date, I think the twenty sixth but anyway, take care of yourself. Don’t give me or anyone else a reason to worry about you. You’ll be good in the military. Good luck.
Daddy!Misha appreciation life.
misha-bawlins:
Oh my gosh. Just <3
My dog is a ninja.
My door’s open and I’m asleep. I wake up but don’t know why, I’m alone in my bed in my room. I close my eyes. I open them again, and she’s sitting on my bed next to me, chilling. Confused, I go, “Lilah…” she silently jumps down and leaves.
First I called Matty’s cell. He yelled at me for not eating/drinking/resting enough.
Then I called my mom’s cell.
Ring. Ring. Ring.
Mom: Hello?
Me: Where are you?
Mom: …Downstairs.
Me: Why haven’t you fed your starving daughter who’s dying?
Mom: Have you been home sick all day?
Me: Yes.
Mom: Have you eaten?
Me: Have YOU eaten?
Mom: Sigh. I’ll be up in...
This made me laugh.
My dad: Emily, you know what’s bad?
Me: Uhh?
My dad: Not only do they know me by sight when I go to drop off stuff at your school, but this morning when I called to call in your absence, I go, “I’d like to call in my daughter’s absence,” and they go, “Which of the Thompson girls is it?” They know me by voice.
I'm sick as hell. Of course.
I just woke up. I went downstairs to get a muffin, and by the time I got back into bed I felt like my limbs were falling off. I am not leaving this bed unless absolutely necessary for the rest of the day, so hopefully I’ll be better for Matt’s party tomorrow. I am not happy about this.
I get to sleep in tomorrow for the first time...
In a long time*. I’m excited. I think I’ll start now. Goodnighttt c:
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In reference to "how close" they are:
Me: I don’t even know, for instance, if you have a cubby over there.
Zach’s girlfriend Tori: What?
Me: I have a cubby.
Zach: *shrugs* She’s right, she does have a cubby.
Scott Pfaff is my soulmate.
I’m heading west to marry him, Kbye.
Your opinion is invalid.
<3
FYI Kaleigh is going to hit me.
I’m still packing, for a week at her place, and I suck at matching. I’m going to be getting dressed and she’s going to look at me and be like wtf is wrong with you. Lol that’s why I usually wear just jeans/jean shorts and a t-shirt. Because I’m colorblind as fuck and I’ll be putting blue and white plaid with fucking purple or something because it looks similar....
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“Sometimes you have to help yourself to live by allowing part of you to die.”
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Wanna know something weird? I love packing.
Right now I’m tossing stuff into my BP duffle bag, (where did I get a BP duffle bag? I’m pretty sure my school doesn’t sell these. And I never— I don’t know. I seriously just have this. Strange.) and I just love it. I mean, I know I never talk in gifs, but all I can really say is:
Nigger. I have all of the symptoms of mono. If I...
Watch
“That’s the problem with us. We’re both stubborn asses and always want to get our...”
– The Notebook (via quote-book)
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It’s just. I don’t understand. I see the way he talks to them, and it’s not the way he talked to me. It’s so much more detached. I don’t understand at all why he would be with someone he didn’t care about, and leave someone who I honestly believe he loved. I just don’t understand. I miss him still. He’s the only person who I don’t just miss the...
Whenever I clean my room, I find things that remind me of my past. Right now, it’s something as simple as a pair of socks. They are the knee-highs I’d wear to wrestling meets (school color, arch support, comfy, it made sense). I miss wrestling like crazy.
“Being alone never felt right. Sometimes it felt good, but it never felt right.”
– Charles Bukowski, Women: A Novel (via imfantasyparade) 