I’m exhausted but as always I’m afraid to sleep. When I sleep, or try to, I think of the life that we were supposed to have, and the things we’d planned and just everything. When I turn out the light I am keenly aware that you are not across the bed from me. Lately I’ve been noticing that more and more. Almost to the point where I want to go sleep on the couch so that I...
The prompts were taken down.
So I called Toddie. And he’s all half asleep and says he’ll forward me the email with the prompts in it. And I’m like. IloveyouToddiebear. Oh, the people I’ve had “relationships” with. I’m glad that he and I are still friends. He’s wonderful.
thenonamekid: themonsta: allis0nwashere: noelforest: codycub-: katiefuckingdrew: fuckyeahzaccary: jupiterstorm: kaseyisnotw: ryannxp: OMFG REBLOG IF YOU REMEMBER THIS! BEST. CHILDHOOD. EVER. :’D <33333333333333333333333333333333 YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS TEARS. FALLING FROM MY EYES. LIKE RAIN. I ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THAT GUY. OOOOH MEMORIES. FACE!!!!!! ...
Reasons I feel old lately, light hearted to heavy:...
I go to the post office. All the time. I am sixteen years old and they know my name at the damn post office. I go there because I send an obscene amount of international mail. I do my own grocery shopping, and I actually look forward to it. I call the things I do every day—school and rehearsal and work on Wednesday and Saturday—work. I carry stamps in my wallet. My back is sore in...
Essay outline. Then bed. Well, then packing up stuff for tomorrow. Then bed. Excited, yes? No, Exhausted. Shit I need to go start laundry now. I have NO clothing. Sonofabitch.
I’m sitting here, chilling, trying to get my work done. And then I look at the television. And I see their commercial. And it’s all military guys going off to war and their wives staying home taking care of the kids, and I start thinking of Antonie, and I start sobbing, literally sobbing, because I see this. Not only that, but I’m then sitting here trying to do my work while...
In order of priority:
I need to a) Write and illustrate a children’s book, due tomorrow. b) Study for my biology midterm. c) Write an essay outline. d) Get all of the One Act stuff ready for competition. e) Get enough sleep to not pass out at the competition tomorrow. I don’t know how it’s going to happen when I’m already so tired.
I need to do some laundry.
Because I can’t find shitttt. There’s a HUGE pile of dirty laundry next to my desk. I know there’s a basket in there somewhere. I gotta go dig for my drama stuff now. =p I CAN’T FIND MY MOTHERFUCKING YOGA PANTS. Ugh I need thoseee I am angryyyy.
It’s about Antonie. Don’t bother reading. I don’t really go on the right side of my bed, the side against the wall. No matter if we were in mine or his, if we were sitting or lying down or anything (Our beds are in the same spot, head and right side pushed up against the wall) he was always on that side. Even before I moved my bed a few days ago, when only the head was against a...
Tumblr seems so empty without Kenny.
Sigh. Such an empty evening. Hopefully tomorrow will turn out better than today. Off to print things out and go to bed.
I've just noticed...
My hips are getting wider. Not fat-wise, but the bones. I’m just getting bigger hips. That’s not gonna fly. I liked them the way they were. Fuckbodyimage. People say be happy with your body. I WAS. I’m turning into that cliche theatre/dance/art person. As in it’s all I do nowadays. I dance and act and photograph and paint—I haven’t had much painting...
Tumblr decided to use the tumblrbeasts! =D
When you walked out of my life, you took me with...
I still can't think of something to do for my...
It’s pissing me off. I don’t know if I want it to be a portrait of me or what.
I was supposed to go over to Matt’s today but I had to work. NO ONE INFORMED ME THAT JAKE WAS THERE. And I am now pissed.
I love you because when I look at you, I’m staring at perfection.– Change to past tense all except “love.”
This is my final paragraph. It is what it is.
With all else covered, there remains the issue that the product may be considered controversial. Throughout the novel, many characters die in awful ways at the hands of one who ought to be caring for them. The novel describes in detail the faces and characteristics of suffering people. Because of this, the novel is not for the immature. It also contains a few curse words and inappropriate...
I'm worried that Antonie might be hurt.
Emotionally. When he hasn’t been online for this long, Idk. I’m worried. I mean yes, I would be glad if he and that whore broke up. Because yes, he deserves it and I don’t give two fucks what happens to her. But I just don’t want him to be hurting. I love him so much.
I just extensively quoted my own novel.
Done like a true bamf.
I sometimes forget how obsessed with learning new languages I am, and how many I understand, until I’m writing an essay in English while singing to French versions of Disney songs and thinking how I need to finish Inferno, the Italian version.
"You need to rewrite your lit review, you can't...
We’ll see about that.
icanseerightthroughyou: runaway-hearts: happinessdestroysyou: OH MY GOD. LMAO. YESSSSS. <3
Me: Jason you are not naming your daughter Elysium. Jason: Why the hell not? Me: Do you know what Elysium is? Jason: I don’t think YOU know what Elysium is. Me: Right. Elysium is where the good and virtuous go. It’s for heroes. Jason: Exactly! I’d be naming her after something good! Me: But in all likelihood she’d end up being ordinary and not a hero, especially since...
Me: Jason, I hate doing projects where I have to look at medical dictionaries because I always end up getting paranoid and thinking I have every disease I see. Jason: Do you have the symptoms? Me: Yes! The symptoms are sometimes really broad. Like this one. Jason: Lemme see the picture you’re looking at. … … … Jason: Emily, you do not have testicular cancer!
I am awake, barely. I am going to go make myself a drink— does alcohol put you to sleep…?— and start my blessed essay.
I go to take my mirror off of my wall, and I...
Then I remember that my walls are white.
Because I’m badass. This is the accent.
I’m finally feeling okay and almost cheery for the first time in so long, and I know it’ll pass but it’s here for at least a little while, and I get a new follower out of freaking nowhere and I want to talk to him and he doesn’t reply to my message. And I’m all like, No. That’s not nice. *Sniff.* =[
themusiclibrary: If It Means A Lot To You - A...
I know that people are entitled to their own...
But it still bothers me when my sister tells me how much she dislikes some of the people I do theatre/dance with. Because I mean, yea, they have some undermining qualities. Like, Jackie is really self-centered. And Laine is short tempered. And Linsey will be a bitch to certain people. But the thing is, they’re not all bad. And everyone has something that’s nottt bad about them....
I was reading old judges’ comments from an individual acting competition I was in last year. And it still pisses me off when I read, “Your monologue seemed too sad for serious dramatic.” I was marked down for that. The categories were— listen closely— humorous dramatic, serious dramatic, children’s story telling, and improv. I’m still like, “What the...
I'ma make me a drink, and put Grease on. And...
As long as I'm being honest,
almost the only time I feel pretty is when I dance.
I won't lie.
I’m wearing tights and jazz shoes, and Antonie’s shirt, with my camera on a tripod, waiting for my camera to charge so I can get a cliche dance photo. I’m not ashamed. I forgot how long his shirt is on me. And how soft it is against my bare skin.
I just edited 200 photos, and I'm about to go take...
You’d think I’d tire of this lifestyle.
Isabel is sitting on my lap now.
commanderkenken: Fresh out of the bath, in her pajamas, with a sippy cup full of juice, courtesy of Maxwell. And she’s watching It’s Me Or The Dog with us, and squealing whenever the dog comes on screen. I just want to reread this over and over again. IloveyouKenny.
You know what?
I over-edited that photo of Laine. And I am proud. And you know what else? In our theatre troupe, we always talk with some weird accent that’s Asian mixed with Eastern European, we kind of made it up. It’s a tradition, we just do it off and on and no one even notices anymore. Well, after spending six hours with them, I’m starting to think in it. End ees badt habbeet.
The performance went really well,
but I’m really upset. My entire family, despite my telling them constantly and the fact that they definitely were free, and the show didn’t cost any money and was only thirty minutes long, didn’t bother to come to our performance. They always pull this shit and it pisses me off. They come to things I want them to stay away from, and they don’t bother to come to my...
I can't stop crying.
I’m so scared of a life without you.
What if tomorrow I was gone?
I just thought this was so pretty.
Every time I dance a step, I feel something warm course through my veins. It makes me think, maybe this is love, the love of the movement. If dance was love, if every step I took could help you to love me more, if every plié helped you to care, I’d dance forever until my heart drained out of me and into you, and there was nothing left but me, my body, my movements, and your love.