October 2010
I'm sorry Forrest,
I can’t go to your burial tomorrow, Logan doesn’t have the car, and I was too sick to go to your funeral today. But you’ve been constantly in my thoughts. I hope your mother and father are okay, I hope your brother is too. And your sister, grandmother, all of them. They’re good people you’re good people too, buddy ;]. I’m thinking about Logan a lot now too,...
September 2010
Day ten: Describe your first love and your first...
My first love, really, was Antonie. I’m honestly not to proud of that, but it is what it is haha. He was a good guy, just really stubborn and way too tall. But then, Logan’s really tall too. Man, what possesses me to be attracted to guys 6’4” and up, guys who practically cause me to get a chronic neck condition from trying to look in the eye? Ridiculous. But anyway, Antonie...
“How can you miss somewhere you’ve never been? How can you love someone you...”
Day nine: how you hope your future will be.
I hope it will be free. I hope that I’ll travel the world like I want to, and I’ll experience the cultures and meet the people and feel the vibrance of the world. I hope that by the time I settle down, I’ll have thousands of memories from all over, and I hope that I’ll be able to relax. I’m not too specific. I just know what I want. I want to set foot on all seven...
I promise,
Mostly to myself, that I’m going to bed. I’m not gonna sit here and cry all night.
A North Stafford football player heard about Forrest. He said, “One less blackhawk to beat down Friday.”
That’s not true. He’s not one less. He’s one huge part of a whole. And the visitor stands are gonna be packed Friday. The day of Forrest’s burial. We’ll...
I missed seeing you today.
But I was pretty out of it again. I lost my script, I— I was kind of just moving mechanically. The viewing is tomorrow. Tomorrow’s gonna be crazy. I have to get up at five for school, go to school, go to CGS, come back, rehearsals are until five, then I have to go home, eat, go to tutoring until eight, go home, change, and go to Forrest’s memorial service which starts at nine....
Day eight: a moment you felt completely satisfied...
A few weeks before school started. Everything was going perfectly. Things with Bryan were great, everything was getting done, it was great.
Forrest Peterson.
I’ve been crying all day. I didn’t even go to third or fourth block. Erica, Deana, Gabbie and I leaned in for a group hug before third, and we all started sobbing, well not Gabbie, she went away so she wouldn’t cry, and Mrs. Black found us and we went into the planning room and I mean we were SOBBING, like the loud, wretching kind. So finally, a counselor came in to talk to us...
Day seven: your sign.
I’m a double gemini— my sun and moon signs are both gemini. It’s pretty accurate. some form of duality — my acting— curiosity, intellect, emotion, a bit of melodrama. It fits. I like my sign. I just can’t write that much right now. Maybe I’ll edit this in a few days.
We must be united.
As one.
Day six: write thirty interesting facts about...
1. I’m not Irish.
2. I can sing from soprano to second alto.
3. I don’t even weigh 110 pounds.
4. I’m afraid of midgets.
5. I have a shirt in my armoire from almost every guy I’ve been with.
6. I put applesauce on hamburgers.
7. I have insomnia.
8. I pray, every night.
9. I would love a pet turtle.
10. Every day, I check National Geographic’s photo of the...
Day five: a time you thought about ending your own...
I’ve never really thought like that. I mean, of course, a couple of times, I’ve thought that it might be easier. But I could never actually go through with it. I’m too afraid of it.
I guess the time I thought about it was a couple of years ago, I was so upset. My life was going horribly. And so I thought for a moment, that maybe it would be easier to just finish things, and go...
1 tag
I can't understand how everyone goes on breathing...
Day four: your views on religion.
I, personally, am a Methodist. I pray every night, and I feel that I have a close relationship with God. But I usually don’t go to church—mostly because I don’t like any around here— and I don’t talk to people about religion. When you talk to people about religion, they get defensive. And they get angry. And it’s really dumb. Just because I AM Methodist does not...
Day three: your views on drugs and alcohol.
Honestly, when it comes to drugs, I don’t understand why people do them. I don’t see why anyone would intentionally hurt themselves, and ruin their looks and their bodies. And when it comes to alcohol, I’m fine with it if it’s not in excess. Getting drunk for fun is not something I’m into, but some of my favorite drinks have alcohol in them. Alcohol is great for...
I had auditions today.
I’m being considered for the part of Matilda, which I really hope I get. The play is The Gazebo, and Matilda is the hysterical maid who screams a lot. And you know what? That will fit.
Because I was just completely hysterical. I flipped a shit on Logan for no reason at all. Well that’s not true. I had a reason. Rumors are being spread. That I asked him out. And other things. And...
Day two: a funny photo
Technically, this photo isn’t really funny. But it makes me laugh. It reminds me of the day this summer that I woke my ass up earlyyyy earlyy to go to Phoebe’s house with Todd, and we spent the day acting like idiots and looking like crap. Plus, my barely size eight feet look HUGE in it lol.
Day one: your status.
I’m not taken, technically. I was with a guy, Bryan, for almost a year, but we broke things off. I’m still feeling waves from that. But I’m not single either. A little while ago, I met the most amazing man in the world. And I say that honestly. I have never met anyone else who is so sweet, handsome, generous, giving, has so much in common with me, everything. But I’ve also...
I cannot remember the last time I was this happy.
I do stupid shit.
I feel like I'm always working.
Five days a week I go to school, of course. Wednesdays I then go to photography, Interact, and tutoring. I don’t get home till 7+. Saturdays, I get up at six (I get to sleep in an extra hour =D) to go to tutoring, and don’t get home until noon+. Hence, today. Thursdays I have drama, although I have it everyday when the play starts, Fridays I have science crap to do after school, and...
I confuse myself sometimes.
Like how I call Dominick so many different names. Nick, Vincenzo, tesoro, and then of course all of the generic ones: sugar, honey, etc. I actually sometimes forget who I’m talking about.
No, it's fine.
Because I don’t like you at all, and talking to you doesn’t make me smile till my face hurts.
In reality, I do like him. But I also hate him. He frustrates me SO MUCH. He talks in circles, but I do too, he’s manipulative, but so am I, he’s a slovenly liberal while I’m smack moderate, and I can’t remember the last time I fell this fast for someone. There’s...
1 tag
Rain beats the saffron
The petals bend to the earth
Sad and lonely now
I feel so dumb.
I forgot my own age.
What the hell lol.
eyewatcher asked: Well, I'm glad you think so :)
How was your day?
How was your day?
eyewatcher asked: Oh! I wasn't aware that was your name also.
“I know that we don’t really know each other. But I also know that you are a really nice guy. And I know that I was really upset earlier. And as I was sitting there, I realized ‘I really just want to talk to Logan right now.’ So I did.”
My greatest strength is in that half of me is...
I hate today. I just want to crawl under a rock and die.
“When you have insomnia, you’re never really asleep… and you’re...”
I kind of hate everyone right now.
Busybusybusy.
Today was one of the best days I’ve had in a whileeee. With Vincenzo during broadcast, then off to photography and interact clubs, and then with Logan after. Plus, Bryan wasn’t so bad. At all. =]
I love old pictures.
Like the one I posted from last summer of me and Marion. And the ones of me and Meredith. They’re old, but they remind me of some day, some little instance in time. Sometimes it’s nice to remember a tiny moment, even if it’s so small it will never matter in the future. That’s what’s been making me smile lately. Now, I’m off to another day at school, pretending...
HEY MERRRRRRRRRRR
IIII LOVEEEEEE YOUUU MOREEEEEEEEEEEEE
1 tag
I was so happy with me and Bryan last night. And then today.. Idk. He kissed me before first block, but after first block he didn’t kiss back. And this afternoon when I asked him for a kiss, he sighed before saying okay. It makes me a tired. I’m gonna take a nap.
