November 2010
How could you have spoken to me?
You are the reason that I don’t believe in love.
You are the reason that I can’t trust people.
I can’t blame you for my pushing people away, I even did that to you, but you’ve made it a thousand times worse.
You are the reason I am so crazy defensive about every little thing.
You are the reason I feel so angry and so lost.
You are the reason I can’t sleep.
I...
“My idea of a slutty pirate costume? An eyepatch. Just an eyepatch. At least...”
– Megan A. <3
FUCK ME FOR BEING A MAC.
I can’t do shit when people send it to me from a PC.
Dammit.
October 2010
Ihavesomuchcraptodo.
I never get to sleep D=!
I’m going to relax for the next two minutes until this song ends. And then I shall put my glasses back on, stretch, and continue to slam my limp efforts into that damn grindstone.
I think that sentence makes sense… Welp, I’m sticking with it.
Thank God for French love songs.
I’m trying so hard to calm down, but I can’t relax, I can’t relax.
I’m trying hard to tell the truth, but I can’t face the facts, face the facts.
This is just something I've been thinking about.
Now, I have a lot of gay friends. I myself am straight, but I am a straight person who supports gay rights because it’s what I think is right. And, I’ve been curious on other points of view. So I just read two of the passages from the Bible most commonly used to condemn homosexuals. The first is long, so here it is paraphrased:
Abraham had a nephew named Lot who moved to Sodom. At...
George Costanza would envy me.
I really do enjoy being one of those people who can go up to someone I find attractive and say, “Hi, I’m Emilyy.” And actually end up getting them to ask for my number.
P.S. And then they text me five minutes later, and don’t stop flirting for like 4 hours.
It does make me smile.
1 tag
I deleted Nathan off of facebook and from my...
I don’t have the energy to pretend to be happy when he ruins every single day of mine.
I just never want to see his name or his face ever again. I feel that this is progress. Mental or emotional… is that the same thing?
I need to start posting pictures again. Too many words.
Words, words, words. I’m so sick of words.
They mean nothing.
My mother didn’t understand why I was amazed and laughing when she kept saying “Lick-or-iss,” so she decided that I must think it was like she was yelling “penis.” And so she started yelling “penis.”
This is my family.
“Could you send me a picture of you, please?”
“Why, Joseph?”
“I want to show someone what you look like :)”
“Why, Joseph? So that you can prove that I exist?”
I can be so cruel sometimes. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
It's really odd how attached I am to my hometown.
See, I grew up in Miami. And what’s weird is that, even when I go downstairs and see a few minutes of the episode of Gangland that my sister is watching, I see Miami, and they’re talking about how its crime rates are so high blah blah blah, and I still see it and think “home.” I just find it so strange that I hear these awful things and I’m like, “Yea, so?...
“I just caught a fly with my bare hand. I’m pretty proud.”
“Ew! Joey! Which hand?”
“Right.”
“Well from now on I’ll only hold your left hand.”
”=[ what if I wash?”
“Even so. It’s tainted.”
“Well that’s no good =[.”
“Be happy, I’ll still hold one =]”
“I guess...
Dear God,
Thank you. It’s not so much that you let me find someone, but more that when I found someone, you said “No, no, no,” and gave me someone better. <3
Joey's okay =]
Or so he says. I was right, he was on a plane. He flew out to Montana last night. His grandmother died while he was on his way. So he’ll be there for a while to be with family. I’m sad because his birthday’s Monday. He says he misses me. And even though he was upset, he kept telling me not to get caught with my phone, and asking how I was. He was really sweet. He keeps saying...
I’m so worried about Joey. I was all excited to see him at lunch today, I was jumping up and down and junk. And then I see him, he’s going to the main office. I run up to him, and he seems happy to see me. They tell him to go to attendance. So he goes to attendance, and they told me to leave, but the jist of it is that his mom sent his sister to come pick him up for some reason, and...
Sdlfk =D
I wish I could have taken a picture of the sweet way he smiles down at me— he towers over me of course. I have the image imprinted on my mind. Other things come along, but he’s stuck there. I know he’s sick and tired, but he’s still so handsome and sweet. I know I’ve only known him for two weeks, and I know he’s 4 months younger than I, and I know he’s too...
“Yea, around second block I realized I hadn’t texted you, or seen you, and I was like, CRAP!” “Crap?” “I don’t like going so long without you. I miss you. Come see me tomorrow morning, okay?”
—Loganboo =]. At least he realized itt.
I’d like to mention, as I go off to bed, that I smiled today because, as I put my head on his chest and he put his arms around me, I could feel his heart race, and I’m sure he could feel mine.
“Come back and make up a goodbye, at least. Let’s pretend we had one.”
Day twenty three: Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless...
This is a lesser known movie, but to me the concept of it is one of the best. I mean yea, I love Fight Club and The Incredible Mrs. Richie, but Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind is an amazing film. It’s what got me through losing Nathan the first time. It deals with situations of a few people involved in an organization which essentially can erase someone from your mind, and erase them...
I can't concentrate.
I’m trying to do my reading. I have homework, you know. But I can’t focus. I don’t know what’s going on in this damn book, and I don’t know what lustrous word fits into these damn SAT prep sentences. All I know is that I can’t focus. I ought to go to sleep. You’re stuck on my mind.
Something about you.
Your hair, your heart, your smile.
You...
I love this.
I think about you, or I see a picture of you, and I’m sitting here grinning like a crazy person. You make me so happy. And every day, I get so excited at just the thought of seeing you. I love the way you tease, I love your height, I love your smile, I love the way you say you miss me, I love the way we talk and the fact that you do sudoku and when you call me pretty and that you’re a...
I swear, the next time I see someone calling him “Naters” I will never talk to him again.
Days twenty and twenty one.
A favorite show.
I’m not sure I have one. I don’t really watch much television. If I’m doing homework or just texting, sometimes it’s nice to watch something, but it’s usually Seinfeld, or Family Guy, or It’s Always Sunny In Philadelphia. Those are really all I watch, except every now and then I’ll watch The World of Jenks with my sister. He’s...
“Not a hug, not a hi. I’m a little insulted.”
“What about TWO hugs?”
“What am I, Scooby Doo?”
Gotta love Joseph Deyott.
“Logan, I have a question.”
“I have an answer.”
“Do you think I’m pretty?”
“Yes.”
“You’re not lying?”
“No.”
“May I ask one more?”
“Sure.”
“What would you have said if the answer was no?”
…
…
“I don’t know, that’s a what if...
1 tag
Just to put your mind at ease,
you don’t owe me anything.
Day nineteen: education.
Yea, I think education is really important. It just isn’t done too well. People are screwing up all over the world when it comes to education. That’s why the majority of our population is so damn stupid.
“This place is a prison. These people aren’t your friends.”
Tonight was amazing,
until Erica ruined it all. Some “best friend.” I hate that title, it’s bull. Because girls will always fuck you over for a guy. Always.
Everything started out wonderfully. Granted, Laura and I waited in line for an hour, but then we got inside and it was great, I found Erica and Logan right away, and I was dancing with Logan, and he was holding my hand and had his hand on my...
Homecoming tonight !
I just found out I can pay my dues at the door, so I’m going to do that, and I’m going to wear my gray and black sequin dress and laura’s silver shoes, and she’s doing my hair and makeup and stuff of course. I’m like her doll lol. I’m excited though.
I woke up early this morning and went to tutoring, and then I left and hauled ass over to the school to help...
Day eighteen: disrespecting your parents.
I try really hard not to do that. My parents aren’t nearly as bad as they use to be, and at least they make an effort. So I do my best to be respectful. But of course, sometimes they frustrate me and I snap at them. But I’m only human, and I’ll snap at anyone after a certain point. But I do believe that everyone should make an honest effort to be respectful, to everyone.
Blackhawks divebombed the panthers ;]
We kicked some Ponax ASS tonight. And they went downnnn. There was not a moment in the entire game where they were ahead, or even where we had to worry. Great end to a pretty sucky day, I’d say. Plus, if we lost, Forrest would make fun of us. Hahaha.
As one<3
1 tag
Day seventeen: your beliefs.
This wasn’t very specific, so I’ll try to do a general overview.
I am a Methodist Christian. I don’t usually go to church, because I haven’t found a church that compares to the one I grew up in. I pray every night, and I feel that I have a good relationship with God.
I am a moderate. I am not a conservative, I am not a liberal. I cannot stress that enough. I can’t...
